The return of legato
by T9-chan
Summary: i watched a short funny film of 'the return of ganondorf' now what happens when legato returns? find out R&R! oh, its a one shot!


A/N: ^.^ I got this idea from watching a Zelda short film. Just changed to Trigun, but still the same!

Disclaimer!!!:  I do not own legendary frog, who made the Zelda short film! –sniff sniff- I should really play those games, oh, I don't own Trigun either…sadly, cause if I did, I would make legato kill everyone! HE WILL SMITE YOU ALL! SMITE YOU GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you

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-Vash walks in his red coat thing-

"Hello my…. Uhh, bring the camera higher" Vash says as he bends down to look into the camera. "sorry Vash!" Wolfwood says, who is most likely holding the camera, brings it up so you can see Vash's head. Vash clears his throat  and begins again " Hello my friends, I am Vash. That's right! Vash. The $$60 billion double dollar man, one of the two who owns a .45 colt, and an angel arm!" pulls out gun and swings it on finger and it accidentally shoots a light and it falls to the ground, "oops, SORRY!" Vash apologizes and quickly puts away gun.

            "Anyway….. A few years back, I defeated the gun ho guns and their leader legato bluesummers, the crazy hand licking psycho who's left eye you cant see!" he says breathing hard and slowly calms down "I casted him away, though I didn't want to, into hell where he was tortured every minute of his evil awful life!" Vash exclaims and calms down slowly again, "ok, breath Vash" breaths in and breaths out.

            Vash peaks around the corner and sees Legato bluesummers standing there looking…well like legato. 'but just recently…' in an unearthly Vash voice, 'Legato returned to Gunsmoke. He claimed he was a changed man' Legato extends hands and some birds fly to him and puppies and kitties, actually a smelly dog and Kuro-neko, run to his feet. Vash's weird voices speaks, 'that he has seen the light and put his dark past behind him' the place dims and the spot light is shown on legato with the birds, the smelly dog, and Kuro-neko at his feet

            "Yeah right! So I set off to spy on the psycho.' Vash says and eyes get all shifty. Legato is sitting on a stool playing a flute and plays 'Saria's song' from Zelda and young kids were dancing and playing as Legato played. Vash pops in with binoculars spying on legato… actually he just kneels behind legato and spies on him with binoculars. ' At first I didn't see anything too evil,' Vash's unearthly voice again, 'he didn't go around maiming people or anything….the song was catchy though.' Vash sways back and forth and bopping his body up and down. 'doo doo DOOO doo doo DOOO doo do do do DOO do do doo do DOO. Hey that's Saria's song from Zelda! Neat.'

            " I knew he wouldn't do anything dastardly out in the open. So I snuck into his room at night using my awesome ninja skills." Vash says coolly.

            In legato's room, Japanese or Chinese, which ever one you want, plays as Vash clings to the ceiling in a black long jacket, a black mask around mouth, black gloves, black boots, and a black hat to cover his hair. It's dark and the camera slowly moves to legato talking in his sleep, snuggling a Knives plushie. "No… No not the box. Curse you sister flora…(yes, legato stayed in a orphanage with sisters looking after him and the other kids. XD)… curse you…. Jordan…. No…. No… AGH!" legato suddenly wakes up from talking in his sleep and looks around, "Oh…. It was only a dream… Oh it makes me so angry…it makes me want to…" cut to Vash, "Yes?" cut back to legato and he says, "makes me want to….!" Cut back to Vash, "Yeeeeessss?" he asks excitedly to himself but still quietly. Cut back to legato, " Volunteer at the soup kitchen! Come Knivesie!" legato exclaims and Vash slowly climbs to the door by scaling the ceiling with his hands. "squeak!" went the knives plushie, and Vash keeps scaling the ceiling. "There are hungry mouths to feed!" legato gets up and walks to the door and Vash is right above legato, He loses grip and falls onto legato. "OOF!" went legato, "OW!" exclaims Vash and quickly gets up and does ninja stances. "What the…" legato gets up rubbing his head, "Oh, its link, I'm glad you're here!" legato exclaims brushing himself off, and Vash keeps doing stupid ninja stances still, "I have something for you… heh heh heh heh…" Vash's unearthly voice again, 'this is it" does another stupid stance, "come on legaTOE, bring it on!' legato is searching for something, and is not in camera sight." now where is it!? Ah, I found it!" legato exclaims and Vash cowers.

            Vash is covering his eyes and cowering and shaking, "I've been waiting a long time for this moment" legato says in his monotone voice and a picture of a badly drawn legato and Vash with each others arms around their shoulders and above the picture it says, 'I'm sorry I made you sad!'  Vash removes his fingers and sees the picture, "can you ever forgive me?" legato asks and tilts his head a bit to the left. "I…guess…" Vash slowly replies and takes the picture. "Yes… That's wonderful…" legato says and stands by the door, "now I must be off.." Vash throws the picture behind him and legato continues to say, "and make yourself at home. Oh…" legato raises his voice, "AND HELP YOURSELF TO ANYTHING IN THE FRIDGE!" camera closes up on legato's face and insert maniacal laughter here! The camera fades to black.

            "Well…"Vash says in his regular clothes…if you can call them regular," I figured that Legato didn't try and kill me there because he totally knew I would kick his ass" a little scene is shown next to Vash and he watches as pixel legato is kneeling on the ground and pixel Vash shoots the legato and he falls over dead and Vash falls to knees and cries his eyes out. 

            Vash quickly covers up the screen and looks to the camera and laughs nervously" uh, heh heh" he clears his throat and says, " I remembered he was invited to Meryl's slumber party. I knew he was up to something…. Something," his eyes get shifty, "something EVIL!" Vash puts a hand over his mouth and looks left to right a lot.

            We cut to legato who is laying on Meryl's bed with Meryl, Millie, and Luna (XD) are sitting on the ground giggling uncontrollably, "So Meryl…" says the giddy Millie, "… tell the truth. Do _YOU_ have a crush on Vash?" Meryl says in a demanding voice, " I'm not telling you. "But it's so obvious that you are, just say it, you know it's true!" Luna exclaims all girly like (-shudder-) "spill it sempai!" Millie exclaims. Meryl blushes and looks down and says, "yes…." Millie and Luna giggle uncontrollably "What? You like him too" Meryl says madly, "no, I'm in love with Wolfwood sempai" Millie says matter o factly. Luna drools, "Vaaaaaaaaaaaaaaash…." She says drooling over the bishonen. Luna turns to Legato and asks, "so, what about you legato? Any seeecreeet crushes?" Luna says emphasizing secret. Legato says, "me and this girl from a long time ago used to be an item but she turned traitorous." Legato sits up and the room goes dark, "I choked her till she could not breath and ripped off her head with my bare hands," we cut to Meryl with a sickened look on her face and go back to our talking legato, " now she is nothing to me!" legato exclaims. Cut to Vash relieved and punches the air, " oh here we go! Pent up rage!" Vash exclaims and then cut back to legato who's eyes glow red, "Ahhh… whenever I think about it… I just…! I…I… Just…" He cries uncontrollably. We cut to Vash with his finger in the air and a disappointed look on his face, "okay… First the crying… THEN the rage!" 

            Cut back to legato who has stopped crying a bit, "oh when ever I'm upset I eat!" he starts stuffing face with chocolate in a conveniently placed boxes of chocolate. He stuffs his face and munches away. Cut back to an angry Vash "get with the rage already!" Vash says and puts his face into the camera. Cut back to legato who has stopped stuffing his face, "I…I'm sorry… I lost control… Say… I have an idea that's to DIE FOR!" legato exclaims. Cut back to Vash he slowly sinks to the ground and exclaims, "It's the rage! I know it is!" cut back to legato, "LETS DO THE CHICKEN DANCE!" everyone stands up, Meryl Millie Luna and legato, and start doing the chicken dance with the chicken dance music playing in the background.

            Vash has finger in air and slowly puts it down, "Soooo, there you have it! Undeniable proof that legato will one day come and smite us all!" Vash exclaims, "Smite us I say! SMITE US GOOD!" the camera zooms in on Vash, "they… they just can't see it! ARE THEY BLIND?! Blind as a blind man if you ask me!" Vash says and looks around worriedly, "Ohhh… They'll see it… I'll make them see it! They'll call me crazy! But I'm not crazy!" camera zooms away and Wolfwood is standing right in Vash's face, "I'm the only one that's NOT crazy…!" Wolfwood slaps Vash across the face. "Thanks Wolfwood…" Vash looks down, " I lost control…" he gets all happy, "C'mon, let's go fishing!" Wolfwood starts walking away. Vash's eyes get all shifty and his unearthly voice speaks and Vash pulls out his gun, 'you're next…BAIT!' he exclaims, 'hahahahahahahahahaha…' camera slowly zooms away. 'HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!' scene fades to black, 'MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!'

END!

I want to thank legendary frog productions for making their short film 'the return of ganondorf' were I ripped off to make this Trigun fic! ^.^


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